Coffee Notes, by Jay Spencer Seiler

Let’s talk about Cat Crap Coffee…..
January 8, 2010, 7:27 pm
Filed under: Coffee

Kopi Luwak Coffee is that coffee that is collected and roasted from the dung of a weird Indonesian Monkey cat Raccoon hybrid called a Civet cat. The Coffee is sometime called Civet Coffee . This coffee is quite rare and cost around 400 to 600 dollars a pound. Apparently the Civet Cat is very fond of Coffee cherries, those cherries that are typically picked by some Juan Valdez guy. After eating them they pass through the cat’s digestive tract and while making the journey they impart something ‘special’ prior to being excreted. Here is what I want to know, how do they recover these beans? Does someone follow one of these cats around with a baggie? Do they walk through the woods looking for cat crap? And how did someone get the great idea to even try this out? Was somebody really really bored one day and said to themselves, hey I think I will try brewing a pot of this cat crap and see what I get? Those crazy Indonesians! What will they think of next?

All joking aside it seems that the digestive process of the cat breaks down the enzymes that give coffee it’s bitter flavor. Huh, who would have thought of that? I think those dudes in indonesia were hitting the bong one day, got the munchies and got something mixed up with a Nutty Buddy. Anyway believe it or not this Kopi Luwak has been researched a lot, for what I think are obvious reasons. The beans washed thoroughly with a special wash before they are roasted to kill any bacteria before the beans are ground into coffee. Special analysis by labs have surprisingly showed roasted Kopi Luwak beans have lower bacterial levels than normal coffee. Scientific study of the chemical compounds in the cat poop coffee also reveal how completely different Kopi Luwak coffee is. This might account for the incredible taste, isn’t that amazing? hehe.

Before you rush over to Starbucks or your local roaster to get a pound, know this. There are only 1000 pounds produced a year. This rarity and increasing world demand have pushed prices to about $450-$600 a pound or $50 dollars a cup. Holy Crap! (no Pun intended)

Most people if they are going to spend $600 dollars on a pound of Kopi Luwak want the real thing. This is a matter of concern as scam artists have been passing off coffee digested by humans as the real thing. Ewwwwww! Experts (experts? How do you become a cat crap coffee expert?) suggest ordering the beans still unroasted in the cat poop as proof. You mean to tell me you can buy this shit while it’s still in the shit? We live in a strange world. Why not buy a civet cat and feed it yourself with coffee cherries? Then your coffee is really fresh. I mean how can you tell civet cat crap from other crap?

Here is what I think you should do. Go to this website, and order your coffee there. It’s safer that way, and cheaper. Get it here!


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